WOot! haha yay first official post on my blog. i hope i dun need to lock this soon tho.

Lol. u must be thinking wad kind of shit web domain is this. haha adriel thought of it for me. quite cool la i think. Life is really like a putu mayam, long n dreadful, chrunched up into a mess, but tastes sweet n delicious at the end of the day. HAHA WAD KIND OF SHIT ANALOGY IS THIS? I JUST THOUGHT OF IT LA!

Damn sian. Today's really sian. Basically rjc open house which was dead boring so im not gonna talk bout it here. Dun wanna spoil my first entry with such a crappy day. HAHA. ok i'm gonna talk bout ytd's mahjong session at ben's house.

Yeap me joy eunice n jared went to ben's house after open house preparation to play mahjong. haha it was quite funny cause we were sneaking out, not wanting to get found out by her. We took 156 there which was so freakin long that i fell asleep on the bus. Joy said i slept peacefully unlike jared who almost fell off his seat. Lol. When we reached his house, we wasted no time in playing and ben was the overall helper since he was like how freaking zai n we had 1 extra player. Haha eunice won the first round, followed by jared who went on a winning streak. Haha halfway through i was so damn freaking lucky n zi mo-ed a 5 tai set! woot damn funny looking at all their reluctant faces when they gave 2 bucks to me each, esp eunice who was not won a single round since her first win hours ago. HAHA then ben suddenly told everyone tt the person who wins the first game will be cursed and will lose the rest of the games. LOL we were really laughing like siao as eunice almost fainted. True enough, she did not win a single round at all throughout the whole match. Yeah then after we completed north south east west, we played a new match and haha guess who won the first game. No points for guessing eunice. HEHE it was really damn funny. BAh then later shuyi msged me must do pw at 9 so we cut our game short cause i had to go home to discuss freaking pw. SIAN.

Lol not bad la i won 4.40. Quite a lot liao considering normally only win or lose 1 plus bucks. That means that eunice lost quite a bit.

SIGH. Met him damn a lot of times today during open house. Not surprising since our booths were like so super close. Dunno what to say la i really dunno wad he is thinking. After the whole mayhem i can definitely say that i've matured as a person by quite a bit. Haha i used to be a person who's afraid of loneliness n will never do anything alone. But i still rmbed the day before math paper i was in the lib alone doing my stuff. It was the first time that i didnt give a shit tt i was mugging alone. Its like all the self-consciousness and my fear of being alone just dissipated into thin air. Nice feeling. I could finally concentrate fully on math and everything that happened around me doesnt catch my attention at all. I became independent overnight.

Haha one thing that really surprised me was that i have not once blamed him for everything that has hapened considering how asshole i am. Prob due to the fact that i've figured out why it was so easy for him to let go but a billion times more difficult for me. Its cause he has brought so many things into my life this entire year n taught me things that can never be found in textbooks or internet. He showed me wad true friendship and love is, treated me like a younger brother and showed singapore to me every friday evening(going places like chinatown, newton food centre, airport blahblah). His epathy skills do work n he can find out what exactly is going on in my mind, never failing to cheer me up whenever i was down with his lameness and stupid jokes(that i really miss). haha but what have i brought into his life? Absolutely nothing. BEST FRIENDS MY ASS! I was a really lousy friend actually. I was annoying, whiny, plagued with shit problems and worst of all, I took him for granted. I left with him with nothing to hold on to at the end of the day. No wonder he could let go so easily. Sadly, I only realise this truth when it was too late. Yeap i have to take full responsibility of what has happened. He is really an awesome person. I don't think i deserve such a cool friend. I'm quite glad that he has found great friends like ZK and KM. Yeah I'm sure that they'll walk with him through thick and thin and he can find true friendship in them yay.

But yeah I'm pretty glad that I've changed now. I'm back to my crazy but matured self. I'm also happy to see that I've grown closer to some of my friends now that I think i have neglected throughout this year. This whole thing really made me realise that having a best friend is perfectly fine, but having to rely emotionally entirely on this person is really a stupid thing. Damn was i a retarded asshole who deserves to be shot. Haha ok i just thought bout that very night when i confronted him. I finally understood how people with insommia suffered. I was lost and desperate. Man that was a shit feeling. Haha sheesh I really couldnt believe that i msged him things that were so disgusting. Gah im so weird.

This entry is getting random. Just finished watching survivor. Quite cool I'm rooting for stephanie and cindy. Bummer that Brian got booted he was really funny last week man.

Haha ok gtg. THERES FREAKING BAND TML I HATE BAND I DREAD BAND IT JUST SUCKS THE PIECES WE PLAY ARE PURE SHIT EVERYTHING BOUT BAND IS SHIT! haha ok i need to stop.




taken 19-4-05.. man do i miss those days.. there's still some of me which cant let go, hoping that we can become awesome friends like we used to.. but it just seems so far far away bah.. and i look like SHIT n that picture coolness